ALREADY DONE

Difficult conversations

Why is it that we have our worst conversations when the stakes are high, there are strong emotions and differing opinions? Just when we need to be devastatingly convincing, the brain goes blank, we start screaming and can hear ourselves say stupid stuff that we know we are going to regret. How can this be done better?

Step one – be aware this is going to be one of THOSE discussions. Expect your emotional brain to rob the oxygen out of the room.

Step two – BE PREPARED. What do you really want? Really? It’s usually deeper than your first response. Ask your heart.

Step three – pick the TIME and place. Preferably give a signal. Make it safe. Step four – find things you can AGREE with. Even if these are tiny, (such as the sky is blue), use them as little bridges towards greater understanding.

Check out “Dealing with the tough stuff” (Hill, Hill and Richardson). This is an Australian book version of “crucial conversations” which is a very good American audio training package.